January is a time for new beginnings, new resolutions, and taking a moment to assess how we can all live a little healthier and happier in the new year.
With this in mind, we spoke with Robyn Shumer - leadership development coach, speaker and storyteller, and author of the compelling memoir, “Bones: Anorexia, Anxiety and My Path to Self-Love.” 

Robyn shares her journey in a way that is raw and unfiltered. Her goal was to allow the loved ones and family members of someone with an eating disorder to live the story and understand what is happening beneath the actions you see.

“It’s easy to miss the signals,” Robyn explained. “Your loved one very quickly becomes very good at hiding their anxiety, depression, or eating disorder. That’s why it’s so important to create a foundation of trust, open communication, and love.” 

As we discussed her journey, Robyn explained that there are so many tools and techniques available today to help with mental health challenges. And, just as each of us is a unique individual we have to find the method that will work best for our specific situation.  Robyn stated, “You are so much more than your diagnosis. It’s important to become anchored in what you value, what matters to you, and what you’re good at.” 

In one of her presentations, Robyn discusses the risk factors for developing an eating disorder, stating that trauma, anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and other mental health issues can increase the likelihood of an eating disorder. Frequent dieting is a risk factor for an eating disorder, especially with weight that is constantly going up and down when getting on and off new diets. Depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and substance use disorders commonly co-occur with eating disorders. 

But, there is hope – and there are people who have taken their own journey through anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder and are living healthy, full lives. So, what can parents or loved ones do? 

Robyn indicated that there are a few things we can do: 

• Create a safe space for your loved one to share their story. Whether it is at home or with a counselor, come into the conversation with an open mind – understanding that your loved one is expressing feelings and thoughts that are important to them and may be difficult to voice.  Robyn’s mantra is, “Don’t be ashamed to share the stories that shaped you.” 

• Listen actively. Your role is not to “solve the problem” or give advice. (This may be challenging as we all want to help our loved ones – but it is critical.)  

• Use verbal cues to indicate you are listening. Ask questions if you don’t understand. But, do not judge or discount what is being shared. 

• Educate yourself on the connection between the brain and the body so that you can begin to understand the biological and physical aspects of these challenges. 

For those who may want to read this impactful book, “Bones: Anorexia, Anxiety and My Path to Self-Love” is available on Amazon at this link: 

https://www.amazon.com/Bones-Anorexia-Anxiety-Path-Self-Love/dp/196162480X  

You can reach Robyn at: www.robynshumer.com 

If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, you can call the National Eating Disorders Association hot line at: (800) 931-2237